well this time last year i was waiting for my first semester at college to start.
i had no idea how i would do in my classes.
my first semester was a complete surprise for me because not only did i do it, but, i did it well ending up on the dean's list with a 3.57 gpa for the semester.
noni1974,
"I didn't connect my waiting for my life to be different with my experience as a JW and the old 'wait on Jehovah' thing until recently."
The indoctrination is hard to shake. Congratulations on making the break and your newfound confidence in yourself. It will serve you well.
Reopened Mind
as if the other sept. 15th wt thread i started weren't controlling enough - in another study article titled " run ..... that you may attain it " were you aware that just eating and wearing clothes on your body - might be a " stumbling block " to you ?
in a prior article on pg.
12 , paragraph 6 the wt society sets up what they are trying to get across by stating, " people of the world tend to seek personal interests first as " men of this system of things, whose share is this life.
WHAT! Clothes can become a burden? What about the suits, ties, white shirts, and dark socks the brothers are REQUIRED to purchase and wear if they are to reach out for position? And sisters MUST wear dresses of a certain style and length. TotallyADD and I still have clothes in our closet that we would not have bought if it hadn't been for going to meetings and out in service. And don't forget the bookbags and the gas for our cars.
The "important Theocratic activities" are the real burden. We are so glad that weight has been lifted from our shoulders.
Reopened Mind
may you all have peace!.
i would like to know something, if you will indulge me, please - thank you!
to what extent did you, as a jw... read/know the contents of the bible?
Shortly after we were married I noticed TotallyADD did not do personal study or read the Bible. When I asked him why, he replied, "I trust what they are telling me is right." I see now he was plagued with ADD and dylexia plus past physical abuses, not to mention the constant indoctrination of a mind control cult. When he became an elder he found himself so busy with providing for a young family, meetings, field service, talks, judicial committees, helping others in the congregation that it left little time for reading the Bible. Reading the Bible was just not that important in JW Land. In the halls we were in the Bible reading on the ministry school was usually assigned to a young brother learning to read. We did not have a family study, which bothered me for a long time.
When I saw this thread I asked TotallyADD again why he hadn't read the Bible through. His answer this time was that what he did read when he was younger was so scary that it brought up too many negative feelings. The parts that were emphasized at the meetings was the total destruction of the world at the big A. He was told by his father not to make any friends at school because they were all going to die. He didn't need to worry about school because Armageddon would be here before he would graduate. Don't get married, don't have children. Well we are grandparents now with no Armageddon in sight.
Now for me. I read the New World Translation from cover to cover while I was studying at the suggestion of my non JW aunt. It wasn't too hard to apply WT thinking to what I was reading. But sorry to say that was the last time I read the Bible from cover to cover. The Bible reading in the Ministry School doesn't count. When I began pioneering we were living with Totally's parents and I had a five year old and a one year old. Needless to say that left little time for anything other than required theocratic activities. Not that the Bible mattered. I can't remember being engaged in any scriptual conversations in field service. If I were to be honest I am sure that if scriptural questions were raised I would tell them to accept the latest magazine or book and that would answer their questions. Carrying the Reasoning book and referring to it gave us the false impression that we were using the Bible.
Reopened Mind
i'm a long time lurker here.. i'm not and never have been a jw, but i am trying to get an understanding of what it means to be disfellowshipped for the sake of someone i know.. my husband and i pastor a small church, we're nothing special, just a group of people who get together to seek god.
we're open to everyone and people pop in as they want to.
recently a woman in her early twenties has started turning up.
Yr Wyddgrug,
You have come to the right place to find help and support for your friend. Welcome. My husband, TotallyADD, and I have recently exited the WT cult by moving 1000 miles from our old congregation. He was born into the cult while I converted before we were married. We raised two boys in the organization who now have given us four grandchildren. We were not disfellowshipped, just fading so we can still maintain contact with family. We do run the risk that if we are exposed we will be disfellowshipped. Then as you have found out we will lose all contact with family and friends we have established over the 40 years we have been Witnesses.
Your friend is very courageous to have talked let you in on her big secret. I assume from what you have said that she is disfellowshipped. Please encourage her to read on this site if she is not up to introducing herself yet. Many have lurked here for years before getting the courage to post, including myself. It really is comforting to realize others have gone through similar experiences and they are not alone.
Hugs to you and your friend. You don't know just how much she needs you at this time.
Reopened Mind
i remember one time when i was about 17 years old, i wanted to arrange a costume party for the young brothers in the congo around my age.
i suggested it to one of my friends and was told that the elders had advised against it because it could be construed as pagan and masks have their roots in demonism.
of course, i was never shown any biblical proof of this but just that response took the wind out of my sails and i decided to just not go through with it.
Almost 30 years ago I was counseled for hanging my laundry out on a Sunday. We didn't want to offend the local Baptists who considered Sunday to be the "Lord's Day". At the time I had three children under 5 years of age, two of whom were in diapers and no dryer. Looking back we probably offended them for a lot of things like coming to their door unannounced on Saturday mornings to tell them they were wrong.
In the same congregation two elders showed up at our door to counsel us on me having my tubes tied after a second difficult birth. Besides that TotallyADD was out of work and we had had our car repossesed so they were convinced that we MUST HAVE A DEMON!!! Funny (pathetic funny) thing is many of the sisters of childbearing age had also had their tubes tied.
STUPID STUPID STUPID RULES!!!!
Reopened Mind
so i am talking religion to my coworker and freely admit i used to be a jw.
he said thats interesting my wife grew up with some, and they are a weird set of people.
i agreed, explained about the holidays, which he knew and called it a day.
sinis,
This is so so sad, but unfortunately not that unusual within the WT ranks. I do not know how to put into words how I feel when I hear of a suicide due to depression brought on by sexual abuse. There is no recourse for getting help. I too have family members who were molested by a cult member. I know it happens outside the cult, but inside the cult the two witness rule, the denigration of women, the suspicion of psychologists, the overwhelming need to present a squeaky image keeps the abused from getting the help they need.
As Jamie said if that poor woman would have only known there was someone she could have reached out to for help.
Reopened Mind
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then allow a dog to share your life.
Mouthy,
You must have been posting while I was answering the others.
The hardest thing about owning an animal is saying good bye when they die. Some have died at home. Some I had to have put down because they were in such pain I couldn't bear to let them suffer any more.
You are such a character for teaching your bird such bad words! LOL
Truly some of our animals tug at our heartstrings more than the others.
I spoke so fondly of my first dog, the little poodle, that my DIL surprised me with a toy poodle in 2002. Sadly she was killed by a coyote two years later. So we went to an animal rescue organization and brought home a black lab. She is such a sweetheart. Shortly after that my other DIL gave me her poodle. The lab is TotallyADD's and the poodle is mine, well sort of---if either one of us leave they both look out the window for us.
So Mouthy, did you HOOK the woman into the cult? Sounds like she was a kindly lady with a soft spot for Mell. You never forget such kindnesses.
Reopened Mind
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then allow a dog to share your life.
Thank you all for your comments.
Nomad Soul: I feel sorry for you that you have not come to know love from animals. You must be willing to give unconditional love to get unconditional love.
Robdar: We raised our boys with dogs and cats too. They learned much from caring for pets.
Morbidzbaby:I had a hamster as a child. I agree, they can be interesting as well.
aSphereisnotaCircle: Saying animals are unclean is following the Mosaic Law which Jesus did away with. The GB is anti everything that takes away time from worshipping them.
Twitch: Caring for animals is a blessing. Helps us to be more compassionate toward fellow human beings.
dogisgod: I'm so happy you grew up with animals so you could be here to share with us on the forum. I hope you have some true friends now. Most of the "friends" in the organization are conditional. PM me and I will be your unconditional friend.
mummatron: All of our current animals are rescued too. Somehow they seem to know you reached out to them and seem to be more loyal and affectionate. Well maybe not the cats.
LV101: Owning a dog is truly a gift. Those who dislike animals don't know what they're missing. Then again I wouldn't want an irresponsible person to have any animal.
Lozhasleft: There is no truer companion than a dog. Daisy sounds like one terrific dog.
cult classic: That's quite a menagerie you were raised with.
Reopened Mind
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then allow a dog to share your life.
Do you want unconditional love? Then allow a dog to share your life. I was not raised as a Witness so there was always a dog or cat in our family. I have always had dogs and cats in my life. My earliest memories included an “old brown dog” named Trixie which quickly became part of our family. The summer when I was 14 I babysat for my cousin, then spent my whole earnings on a tiny toy poodle. She was my constant companion, surviving into the first years of my marriage. My husband who was raised in the cult had a hard time adjusting to having a little dog underfoot as he was not allowed to have any household pets growing up. I was surprised to learn how the Witnesses viewed pets in general and dogs in particular.
For example from the Insight book:
DOG
[Heb., ke´lev; Gr., ky´on;ky·na´ri·on, ‘little dog’ (Mt 15:26)].
To the Israelites this animal was ceremonially unclean, and it is therefore unlikely that they gave any thought to the training of dogs. (Le 11:27; Isa 66:3) Although sheep and shepherds are often mentioned in the Bible, only Job, a non-Israelite, speaks of “the dogs of my flock.”—Job 30:1.
Dogs (Canisfamiliaris), like carrion birds, were scavengers, particularly in the cities. The Law directed throwing to the dogs flesh that had been torn by a wild beast. (Ex 22:31) At times Jehovah’s judgment against his enemies was that their dead bodies would be eaten or their blood licked up by scavenger dogs. Because of the course of gross unfaithfulness followed by Kings Jeroboam, Baasha, and Ahab, any who belonged to their respective households and who died in the city were to be devoured by dogs. (1Ki 14:11; 16:4; 21:24) In fulfillment of Jehovah’s word, the dogs licked up Ahab’s blood, and the flesh of his wife Jezebel became food for the dogs. (1Ki 21:19; 22:38; 21:23; 2Ki 9:10, 35, 36) Indicating that dogs would lick up the blood of the foes of Jehovah’s people, the psalmist wrote: “That the tongue of your dogs may have its portion from the enemies.” (Ps 68:23) It was foretold that dogs would share in the ruin that would come upon unfaithful Jerusalem and Judah. Dead bodies the dogs would drag away, mutilating, devouring, and licking up blood.—Jer 15:3.
We have come a long way though in understanding how intelligent dogs are. John Pilley, a psychology professor in Spartanburg, South Carolina, taught his border collie 1,000 words. (Reader’s Digest August 2011, p. 124) But it doesn’t stop there. Dogs have been trained in many ways to assist humans and more ways are being discovered every day. A short list includes service dogs, rescue dogs, therapy dogs, hunting dogs, guard dogs, war dogs, police dogs, performing dogs, herding dogs. But the main reason most of us own dogs is simply to share our lives, give us something to care for that will appreciatively return our affection. My husband and I currently have two dogs, a lab and a poodle. They are not trained to perform any of the above duties. They eagerly wait for us when we return home, alert us when someone comes to the door, and warms our bed and our hearts. They are our companions, giving us unconditional love.
Recent research has shown that interacting with a pet can have the beneficial effects of lowering blood pressure, reducing the risk of a heart attack, decreasing stress, and generally improving the overall quality and length of life.
So if you want a healthier, longer life, along with unconditional love, my recommendation is get out of the cult and get a dog.
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown
i want to say thanks to those that have blazed the trail for others to become former jehovah's witnesses.. many were disfellowshipped or disassociated, some stopped going to meetings before "faders" existed.
many had no internet or any way of gathering with others who left the jw's.
later, the likes of randy watters and ray franz gave many a sense of a group conscience with their efforts and writings.
OTWO,
We may not be able to make a horse drink once he has been led to water, but if someone hadn't led him there he wouldn't have had the choice to drink or not. Thanks to all of you who have led the way.
Yes, I agree with Clarity that flipper is awesome. He never disappoints me by acknowledging my posts on his threads. This shows that he cares about what others say, not just his own opinion. OTWO, I thank you for your reply also.
Reopened Mind
